I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
