he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
