I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
