She's JV to your varsity
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
