I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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