He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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