He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
