Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
