Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
