he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
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Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
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I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
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