If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
