Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me