he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
These 27 Creepy People Did The Craziest Things To Prove Their Love
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.