i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
