I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Screwed.edu
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
