you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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