Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
