Pants 0. Shit 1.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
