Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
