Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
