It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
