There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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