im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
