This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
