is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
