cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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