So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
