I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
