I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
where are my pants?
in the oven.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
