I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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