Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
