As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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