i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
