I heard we made out
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
