How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
