Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize