go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
