What a fucking waste of an outfit
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Randomize