So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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