I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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