Hey man sorry I got all grabby
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
