I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I think my fart just growled at me.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
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