i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
