There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
The convent might be a nice break from real life
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
