FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
