They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
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we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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