I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Blood and glitter go together right?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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