Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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