Where are you?
In a non slutty way
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm at about main and main street
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
