I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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