Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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