If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
