I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
