I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
