I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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