Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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