I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize