We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
