I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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