I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
