Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
