I can't watch pbs sober anymore
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
